then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
