oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
