I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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