Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
