man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
