Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
