Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
