covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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