If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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