God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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