Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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