i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
