I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
