I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
