I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
