i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Drake has all the answers
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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