Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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