Sponge bath it is.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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