marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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