I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
