she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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