I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
