I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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