I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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