Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
