Porn is love you can see.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
