hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
