Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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