Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
