I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
