so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
