We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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