My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
