I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
