i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
