a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
