So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
