My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
