Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
