How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Randomize
