actually, I'm a sock model
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
