Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
