But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
