hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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