i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
