so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
