We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
