As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
