walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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