He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize