R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Randomize
