I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
