i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just pynch a tree in the face
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
