If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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