Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
