I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize