I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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