using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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