If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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