It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
cat food counts as protein by the way
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
