if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
