I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
