I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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