Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
