This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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