Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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